With school now in full swing, my business hours are rocking!!!! I am absolutely loving my privacy and work hours! YAY!! But this blog post is not all good news unfortunately. However, things are going well, so the tone of this post is entirely optimistic.

I’m going to start with the “bad news”, but it’s not anything new and the only thing it affects is my scheduling in the coming months. However, right now things are going to be about the same. To sum it up, my endometriosis was NOT fully excised during my radical hysterectomy in March. We knew that. My surgeon told us that coming out. She told us that at every single one of my post op visits. We were just waiting for the when.

Luckily, I was given nearly 2 full months of almost pain free time in which to heal after my life saving major surgery. That’s the most I’ve had in 15 years!!! It was great, until it wasn’t, but we were prepared. Mentally it was taxing and I struggled to cope with the return of my aggressive endometriosis, but after some crying, I knew what we had to do. I immediately got everything lined up to see my new team specialist at the end of August. With her and my surgeon, we are confident that we can keep my ovaries alive and functioning for as long as possible. This transitionary period is going to have a ton of ups and downs though…..Which brings me to something that must be addressed.

I was absolutely not fully prepared for all that would entail in needing to take time off for major surgery recovery. It’s been really hard. It’s affected my income. It’s affected my ability to physically process stress. It’s affected my ability to eat. I’m doing everything I can to heal and pursue a long life of happiness and good health, but it’s very hard to do on your own when your cheerleaders are crickets. I’m doing it, but it’s not without significant cost to my mental health, and I have no clue what the long term repercussions of these events will be. This has caused me undue amounts of stress that has made balancing work and healing perfectly, impossible.

This week there was a video release that is, well was, due for release in early September. I have significantly underestimated my ability to juggle my fatigue and strong work ethic. This has caused a lapse in a few of my video release schedules as I prepare for more major surgery this year. To say it’s not easy to be self employed and planning out your own healthcare without help is daunting at best, exhausting at worst. However, I’ve never been one to let my shortcomings stop me. I often fail many, many……many times at something before I get it right. I never let those failures stop me though, and while I’m disappointed in myself for not having everything sorted out beforehand, I hope you will appreciate the sneak peek of what is to come.

With my sex life stable and healing, apart from the endometriosis attacking my ovaries and bladder, my orgasms are now a very frequent and PAINLESS thing. So much so, that I am aiming to have at least 2 new solo videos per month for the rest of the year. Well, at least until we find out more specifics about this next surgery, but all parties feel confident that my sex life is on the mend for the first time in my life. One of the biggest, most crucial, parts of my hysterectomy healing right now means vagina therapy and lots of it.

I may not have any toys on hand for easy, comfortable masturbation, but the tone of all solo videos going forward will be exploration. We have not yet found any new vibrators to help make this process easier, but I’m excited for the process! It was difficult finding toys to help me orgasm in the years before my hysterectomy, so I can’t say I’m surprised that such a huge change in my vagina has affected my ability to orgasm. Solo masturbation now requires serious time commitments, but they are far more enjoyable than anything I’ve ever experienced and all include multiple orgasms. Now that sex doesn’t hurt, I don’t know how to stop cumming! Haha……

So I’m basically trapped in this cycle of not healing, major fatigue, new endometriosis flare ups, interesting vagina therapy that almost always leads to sex but also includes nausea, pain mapping, and talk therapy, and a general state of self employment plus parenting exhaustion. It’s pretty crazy, and my carpets are definitely suffering because of it.

This all means my filming days are strategically planned to coincide with my highest energy days, and do not go over more than 15 videos per week MAX. That includes custom videos, and sometimes means there are no options for custom video filming in a given week. Surprisingly, this means my filming schedule has been filling up double time, something I am extremely pleased about, which means there are lots of scripts that have to get turned down. I wish I could film at my old pace!! I really do! However, my health comes first, and we can all agree we’d rather me film less videos than to film no videos. With school in session, I’m now accepting approximately 3-5 custom videos per week. Yes, this is a really small number, but I’m also pre-booking now so that those who really want a personalized custom fetish video can guarantee they get a reservation. Since we were lucky enough to know that I’m going to need more surgery this year, this means that I can film right up until the week before. My planning schedule has every Tuesday from now until New Years booked with filming dates!

We won’t know more about surgery dates and how things will look for managing my endometriosis until after we meet with the specialist at the end of the month, but I’m so very grateful that this time around I can be up and well and working towards good health while we wait. My healing will benefit most positively from me being able to stick to a filming schedule, managing my weekly walking goals, and focusing on being more active around the home. It’s very slow and carefully paced, but it’s stable. There may be far fewer videos all around because of it, but the outcome is high quality, better effects, and updates that I’m happier with.

Adjusting to this new routine will have some bumps as I fully implement everything, but hopefully from here on out things will be smoother and my filming archives can get fully restocked before we consider dates towards eradicating this endometriosis forever.